EEEEEWWWWW!
by JMolover13
Summary: Ruby loved Snow before the curse and Emma during the curse. Now the curse is broken. Regina overhears Snow and Ruby arguing, and with Emma being her only friend, will she handle things differently than she did with Kathryn? Total Crack Fic meant for the funny.
1. Chapter 1

**Anonymous asked you: Red loved Snow before the curse, Ruby loved Emma during the curse, what will happen once the curse is broken?**

**AN: I hope you enjoy! Though I will tell you chose a secret third option for Ruby… I couldn't help but think about F.R.I.E.N.D.S after I read this one, so this is definitely a play off of "The One with Chandler in a Box" and I am so sorry if you were wanting something dramatic… It's very much a crack fic and meant for funsies.**

"No one can know about us, Red." Snow said as she curled next to the woman, "I have a husband. We just learnt I'm carrying his child; I shouldn't… I shouldn't be here with you."

"I know." Red kissed the raven black hair of Snow's head and pulled her closer. "I just wish there was a way."

"Me too."

~0~0~0~0~0~

"Hey Regina, thanks for coming." Emma said as she opened the door further to let the mayor inside, "If you just want to put everything on the counter for now, we can start cooking after Belle gets here; she wanted to help." She smiled politely.

"I have a few more things in the car, do you mind helping? Or, are you just going to avoid anything of the sort all day long?" She asked with a smirk on her face, knowing her friend would get riled at her statement.

"Of course I will come help you unload the car, Regina. What kind of savior do you take me for?" She gave the brunette a playful look as she reminded the woman just who she was dealing with.

Emma and Regina had come to an understanding after the curse broke. They had this thing that let them understand each other, and that is exactly why Emma invited her to their big Thanksgiving-esque dinner… granted it was January, everyone just wanted to do something that brought them all around the family table.

The blonde left the apartment she now lived alone in and went to the car while Regina set her first load of food on the counter. The former evil queen heard two distinct voices from the bedroom. One of which was Emma's lover.

"But don't you see how…. It is?! She's my daughter, Red! My daughter!"

"I can help who I fall in love with about as much as you can! Just… let it go, Snow!"

"I can't let it go! We were in love! And now… you're with my daughter? Because I chose to stay with the man I married? Because I chose the man I love over the woman I love, you decided to corrupt my daughter?!"

"I've hardly corrupted your daughter. If anything she's corrupted me."

Regina then heard a slap and a grunt from Ruby.

"Don't talk about her like that."

"Fine. But she'll be the first to admit that she taught me a few things. She'll also be the first to admit that she loves me as much as I loved you. And I do love her. It's already done. We… Emma and I broke the curse. It was true love's kiss. So… You know what? You're welcome."

Regina didn't have time to pretend as though she wasn't eavesdropping. Before Ruby came out of the room.

"How much did you hear?" her voice was low and threatening.

"Too much." Regina gave her friendly acquaintance a disgusted look.

Emma walked back into the apartment, "You know, if you wanted me to just get the rest, you could have said so…" the blonde huffed as she walked over to the counter with the grocery bags.

"Sorry, I got sidetracked…" Regina said and she gave a glare to her former enemy as she walked out of the room after knowing more people were there.

The door, still open, revealed Belle with a pie in her hands, "Hello everyone." She smiled and looked around. "Where are all the men and Astrid?"

"Oh, they're playing basketball across the street." Snow gestured to the window.

Outside were Charming, Henry, Grumpy, Graham, Rumple and Astrid. But Rumple and Astrid were standing off to the side, Rumple twirling his cane and Astrid cheering Grumpy on.

Regina pulled Ruby aside once the cooking started, "I assume Emma doesn't know…?"

"Why are you butting in where you don't belong?"

"Because Emma is my _friend_. She is my _only_ friend. She is the only person that has stuck up for me, so I am damn well going to do the same for her." She gave the brunette a glare, "So, I'm going to ask you once more: Does Emma know about you and Snow?"

Ruby looked down and shook her head.

"She deserves to know." Regina started to walk away, "And if you don't tell her, I will."

A few hours later, after the men came back to sit around and do stuff only when called upon, and after a whole lot of nothing happened between Ruby and Emma, the witch took the werewolf aside once more, "You're not seriously going to do this… Not now that you remember? Not when you haven't told her…"

"Regina, can you just… back off?" She asked before she pulled away from the witch once more.

Belle walked over to the brown-eyed woman, "What's going on with the two of you?"

"Nothing." Regina grit her teeth.

"Well, it sure seems like something. And I know Emma and Snow and Grumpy are too kind to say anything—"

"Emma is not too kind to say anything."

Belle smiled, "I'll give you that one, but I think she's worried that the two of you are sleeping together."

Regina gave the other woman a disgusted look, "I am _not_ sleeping with Ruby! I just found something out and I need her to tell Emma about it because I don't want to have to. But she's my friend and I will do it if I need to because she deserves to know."

"Know what exactly? I mean. Is it really so bad?" Belle asked.

Regina sighed and looked around making sure no one was paying them any attention, "She and Snow were… together in the other world."

Belle knit her brows, "But Ruby's with Emma…"

"Right, and any other person would be fine for Ruby to be with, but it was Snow and Snow's Emma's mother."

"Ewwwwwwww! Ew! Ew! Ew!" Graham pointed at them as he spoke. He had been walking by from going to the bathroom heard the last part of the conversation.

Belle's face only showed the icky she felt from the knowledge.

Rumple walked over, "What are we discussing over here?"

"Darling, did you know that Ruby…" She whispered the next part, "and Snow…?"

Rumple understood now what was so icky, "Yes, and now she's with Emma."

"Ew!" Graham said once more.

"Graham!" Regina gave him a look, "Control yourself. Conduct yourself properly."

"I'm sorry! But… Ew!"

"Why does Graham keep saying 'ew'? Henry asked as he walked over to the group with punch in his hand."

"Ruby's been with both Snow and Emma! And their mother and daughter!" Graham said.

Regina started to lunge at Graham; this caught Grumpy's and Astrid's attention across the room, but they saw Rumple stop her, still curious they walked over, "I'll do it." Rumple offered.

"Thank you."

"My pleasure." Rumple slapped the scruffy man on the back of the head, "Think about who you're speaking to." He said, "He is Emma's son. You just told the son about the fact that his mother and grandmother have been with the same person."

"Oh my Ew!" Grumpy said as he joined the group.

"Oh… Ew." Astrid's face was the picture of how the group collectively felt about the situation.

At the same time, "Eww!" came from Henry as he looked at his formerly wicked mother. Then moved to her front when she offered him a hug. He'd just heard the icky twice in a row.

"She doesn't know, Henry. Emma has no idea." Regina spoke softly as she kissed her son's head, comforting him.

"Well… someone should tell her! She's my mom she deserves to know! And what about Grampa?! Does he know?!"

"Know what?" Charming asked. He'd gotten up to see what the big stink formed in the corner of the apartment was.

"Uh… It's not our place to say." Belle said. The rest of the group said nothing.

He looked at Henry in Regina's arms, "Come on, kid… You know you want to tell me." Henry shook his head and turned into Regina. So, he moved on, "Graham? You look like you've got something to say." Regina reached forward and pinched his neck, which made him yelp them do nothing but stare. "No? Grumpy?" When Grumpy just looked away, he sighed, "Alright, fine. Don't share." He walked into the kitchen area, "Do any of you now what all the 'ew'ing is over in the corner?" He asked as he placed a loving hand on his wife's back and kissed her cheek.

Ruby turned around to see everyone staring at her. "I'll go see if I can find out." She wiped her hands and walked over to them, "Is there something I can help you with?"

"You have to tell my mom!" Henry pleaded.

"Yeah, we all think you need to tell her…" Belle said for everyone else.

"Tell me what?" Emma had walked over there as well; she had sway with three of the people in the group.

"Emma…" Ruby turned around to the blonde. She wanted more than anything to not be there, but she was now forced into this conversation. "Let's go talk in your bedroom." She led the woman upstairs.

"Hey, hey! You two don't be up there too long! We'll all know what's going on and you don't really want your parents to know about that, do you?" Charming chuckled as he saw them head for her room. When he saw everyone's stares, "What? I thought it was funny… I'll admit I've had a few today, but… it was funny."

What he didn't catch was the fact that they were looking passed him to Snow. Snow automatically knew that she needed to tell her husband why they were staring, and she knew exactly what they were staring at her for. She took his hand and walked to the bathroom with him.

"EEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!" They heard Emma from the bedroom first.

"EEEEEWWWW! EW! EW! EW! EW! EW!" Came from Charming in the bathroom a split second later.

"I can't… I can't handle this right now. Today." Emma came from the bedroom and stormed down the steps. She pushed passed everyone and stalked outside.

Ruby was at the railing at the top of the stairs watching her when Charming and Snow came out of their room. Charming saw her and pointed, "EW!"

"Alright fine! Judge all you want to! But, loves two people equally at once in _Fairytale World_," she pointed to Snow, then to Regina, "Only ever wants revenge, even when everything is good in the alternate world you created," She pointed to Graham, "Never loved anyone! What is that?" She pointed Rumple and Belle, "I can't hardly get started on you two, but in love with the lord of darkness, and in love with a literal ray of sunshine," She looked to Grumpy, "In love with a fricken' fairy-nun, no offense, Astrid."

"None taken." The not-so-nun-like nun said as she took Grumpy's hand.

"And you! In love with a dwarf?" Ruby turned back to Charming, "Never had a clue that Snow loved me too!" She turned back and pointed at Henry, "And you! You have nothing wrong with you except you're a little annoying sometimes, but that's normal you're eleven." She turned around, ran back to Emma's room and slammed the door.

They all looked at each other before finally Regina broke the silence, "I'll just go find Emma…" She grabbed her coat and went outside.

She found Emma across the street sitting on the benches at the basketball court. She climbed them all because, of course, Emma would sit on the top. She didn't say anything as she sat down, but that didn't stop Emma, "I don't want to talk now…"

"Okay." Regina nodded and breathed out a puff of cold air.

Emma chuckled darkly, "I was actually getting pissed at you because I thought you were sleeping with her… But it was my mother."

"It was your mother in another world…" Regina said in an attempt to have the angry blonde realize that this was no one's fault, or a little bit of everyone's but there was no actual one person to blame.

"But Ruby still went on like it was nothing! I mean… the curse has been broken a while now… she should have told me…"

"I found out this morning… that's why I was taking her aside. I messed up in this world with Kathryn, and I told myself if I ever had another friend I would tell them… Or I'd damn well get the person that did the bad thing to tell them…"

"Thanks." Emma bumped Regina's shoulder with her own.

Regina stared at her, "So you think you're going to stay with her?"

"No… that's… no… I mean, I still want to hang out and stuff, but I don't think I can ever be with her…"

The witch smiled a friendly smile, "It's all for the better…"

"How so? You want to be with me?"

"Good gods no!" Regina bumped her shoulder to Emma's, "It's better for me to be alone. To not mix lust and love in with the only good friendship I have." She smiled before she said, "It's all for the better… You not being with Ruby because… No one should be in a relationship where any party would be able to use the phrase, 'That's not how your mom used to do it.'"

"Ew! Oh, you made it worse…" Emma gave the other woman a playful glare.

~0~0~0~0~0~

Ruby had been single for well over a year. She was still good friends with Snow and Emma, but they never spoke of what was dubbed 'The Ew!'

A few short weeks after Ruby made her 'darkness and sunshine' comment to Rumple and Belle, they decided to end things because that had been the one day they got along since the curse broke.

Belle would come to the diner and flirt unconsciously with Ruby.

One day, as Emma and Snow were eating lunch, they saw this and told Ruby that she needed to do something about the pretty, pretty librarian that wasn't afraid of the big bad icky wolf.

Ruby took her former lovers' advice and found her happily ever after.

**AN: I might be inclined to add another chapter filled with Swan Queen and Red Beauty goodness… if you all want because I personally couldn't decide if I wanted to add SQ or RB officially—obviously made the ultimate decision for RB at the end here. But like I said, your guys' decision! Read & Review!**


	2. Chapter 2

Emma was sitting on the top of the bleachers at the basketball courts. She'd needed a place to think. Everyone—okay, not everyone, but Ruby and Belle and even her parents, were saying things. Things about her. Things about Regina. Things about her and Regina. Things about her and Regina and the two of them. Things about her and Regina and the two of them flirting. The two of them flirting and being together… _romantically_.

That didn't make sense. It was her and Regina. She and Regina hung out; they didn't _hang out_. They were friends, not _friends_. Not friends with a _girl_ in front of it. Not girlfriends. They were involved in Henry's life, they were involved in each other's life because of Henry. Because they decided a long ass time ago that they needed to have a good, solid involvement in each other and each other's lives to take care of the kid.

They decided that seven years before when she was _involved_ with Ruby. But she wasn't now, and she hadn't been for a good six years—Good God! She has been single for six years! What the hell? Had it really been that long?

She supposed it had. She blew a puff of air into the cold, winter air and leaned against the chain-link fence behind her as she crossed her legs and stuffed her hands in her coat pockets.

She watched random couples walk passed the vacant basketball courts on their way here or there—isn't that always how it is? Whenever you're single, or you realize you're single you see couples everywhere. She looked down the street to the diner and shook her head. Stupid Ruby. Stupid Ruby and her stupid words. Stupid, STUPID!—Oh shit. Regina walked out with two to-go coffee cups.

There was nowhere to run or hide. No crowd of people to duck into and get lost in. She was S.O.L. and there was nothing she could do about it. So, she pulled out her phone. Okay, Fruit Ninja. Here we go.

"Hey, stranger."

Damn. Emma missed the special fruit that flew across her screen as she froze at the voice that came from the bottom of the bleachers. She didn't look up for a minute, pretending that she was busy. "Hey…" She said as she heard shuffling before the distinctive sound of heels making their way up metal bleachers. She leaned to the side as she placed her phone in her pocket.

"I brought you some coffee." After settling, Regina extended the second cup. "It's your favorite. I had Ruby top it with some cocoa, extra whipped cream and of course, cinnamon."

Emma stared at the white lid as she slowly reached out for it. "Thanks."

Regina knit her brows as she sipped at her own coffee. She bumped her shoulders with the blonde, "What's wrong with you?"

"Me? Nothing."

"You are more one-word-grunty than normal."

"I am not one-word-grunty." Emma chuckled as she leaned forward, planting her feet on the next row down and her elbows on her knees.

"Yes you are." Regina grinned as she leaned against the fence and watched the blonde grunt and mumble something under her breath. "You are one-word-grunty. Why?"

"I'm not. I'm… contemplating."

"Contemplating?" Regina narrowed her eyes at the blonde waterfall running before her. "Contemplating what?"

"Life."

"Oh, yes. Why wouldn't one come to the bleachers and contemplate life on a bitter cold day like today?"

"That is one of the things I'm contemplating."

Regina leaned forward now to look at her friend's face, "Emma…"

"Regina." Emma still refused to look the brunette's way.

"What is going on with you?"

"Nothing."

"Something."

"I'm fine. Some might say, 'dandy'."

"Dandy?"

"Yes. Dandy."

"Are you on drugs?"

"What?"

"Seriously. Who's your dealer? I want some."

"Oh, shut up."

"'Dandy'?" Regina bumped shoulders with the blonde once more, "You really think you can let 'dandy' slide by me? That's just as bad as saying you're 'peachy'."

"I am also peachy."

Regina tilted her head, "Dandy?"

Emma finally looked at the brunette. She looked into her eyes. She got lost in the swirling pools of chocolate. _Shit_. She was officially thinking about herself and Regina.

"Yeah." The blonde finally said, relenting that she was not all that fine.

"What are you dandy about?"

"Me… Everyone. You. Everyone talking." She shrugged.

"Well… that was specific, Sheriff."

"It's the best I can do right now."

Regina nodded before taking a breath. Her response came out in a clean deadpan, "Because everyone has been telling you that we look at each other with dirty in our eyes and they think we're in love but we won't admit it because we're both too prideful and too scared to mess up our friendship?"

Emma's eyes widened a bit before falling back to their normal width, "Exactly."

"Yeah. They've been doing that to me too."

"And it hasn't made you go somewhere to contemplate life?"

"It's made me go many places to contemplate life."

"And what have you concluded?" Emma asked as she stared at the white lid of her cup, again avoiding brown eyes like the plague.

"I've decided that I'm just going to build up the nerve to tell you how I feel. And let the ball fall in your court."

Emma kept her face angled down to her coffee, but her eyes slowly made their way to the woman next to her, who was now avoiding her look, "And how do you feel?"

"I feel… Well I mean… You… You make… You give me, you know, the feelings." She paused, cautiously looking to Emma who was cautiously looking at her, "The butterfly feelings and the light as air feelings and the safe feelings and the deeper than just friendship feelings and the desired feelings—"

"When have I ever given you the desired feelings?"

"You give me looks. They make me feel the desired feelings."

"I do not."

"You want to swear that statement on your sweet, sweet mother?" Regina didn't miss a beat.

"Hell no." Emma didn't miss a beat either.

Regina smiled, "You give me the romantic feelings." She shrugged when the blonde showed her unabashed surprised at Regina's bluntness. "You also give me many feelings that counter all the ones I've listed. But, that, to me, that fact that I still put up with you when you deliberately disobey my orders as your boss or requests as Henry's other mother…. It still means that I feel the romantic feelings." She looked down the bleachers to the pavement, "Ball's in your court." She got up and walked down the bleachers and down the street.

Emma watched until she was out of her line of vision. Of course, like any annoying, opportunistic best friend, Ruby quickly came out of the diner, Belle in hand. She rolled her eyes and stood, trying to get away before the two started.

"Hey! Hey, Emma! What'd you guys talk about?" Ruby asked as she and her girlfriend of almost five years caught up to the blonde.

"Nothing."

"Nothing like, 'Regina, I want you to bare my babies because I'm so desperately in love you' nothing, or nothing like, 'Regina, I'm avoiding you because of how desperately in love with you I am' nothing?"

"Nothing like noneya."

"Noneya?" Belle asked.

"None ya business." Emma turned to them both, "Leave me alone. I'm tired of you two only talking about Regina. There is more to me than the mayor."

"Is there, Emma?" Belle asked.

"Is there, really, Emma?" Ruby added with a gloating smirk.

"Go back to the diner." Emma turned and swiftly walked down the street.

She didn't take into account that she was walking toward the Mayor's house and away from her own. Ruby and Belle did.

"They love each other so hard." Ruby said as she and her girlfriend opted for a stroll around the park instead of going back to the diner.

"I know. And just think of it. If 'The Ew' never happened, you'd probably still be with her and she'd more than likely never know how in love with Regina she is because you'd be giving her a steady, hefty amount guilt sex for never telling her and she'd think that that meant love, even though all the while, Regina would be in love with her too and they'd never admit it to themselves or the world… Now, at least they have a fighting chance."

Ruby stopped walking the trail they were on and stared at her girlfriend, "What do you want?"

"Pardon?"

"You bring up 'The Ew' when you want something because you're trying to make me feel guilty and want to give you something and that is clearly the easiest way. Usually I know what it is that you want, but right now, I know of nothing. So, instead of prancing around the subject… just tell me. What do you want?"

"Nothing, babe…" Belle put her hand through Ruby's arm and leaned against her shoulder as they started walking again. "Though a ring on my finger wouldn't be the worst thing in the world."

Ruby smirked at the side comment, "I was just needing to know when I was allowed to give it to you…" She pulled a ring box from her coat pocket, "I've had it a long time… a super long time. But I've been carrying it around the last few months, waiting on the prime moment." She smirked at Belle's surprised reaction as she opened the box, "You want me to get down on one knee?" she asked as she showed her the princess cut sapphire accented with round diamonds working their way around the white gold band.

Belle looked up to the blue eyes she'd fallen so deeply for. Her voice dropped an octave, "I want you to put it on my finger, and I want you to take me home."

Ruby smirked, "I can do both of those things." She said as she leaned in and kissed her new fiancée.

~0~0~0~0~0~

Emma knocked on the mayor's door after ringing the bell with no pause in between.

The brunette opened the door with raised, slightly annoyed brows, "Miss Swan…"

"'Miss'? I've already pissed you off?" Emma pushed passed Regina and moved further into the mansion like she owned the place.

"Continuous beating on my door and three rings of my doorbell all without pause, tend to get me a bit irritated…" The Mayor said as she followed Emma to her living room. After watching the blonde take off her coat and boots, throw them on the ottoman of the chair no one uses, plop onto the couch—the cushion she'd clearly been sitting on—cross her legs on the coffee table and settle comfortably, Regina crossed her arms and leaned against the archway of the living room.

"Where's the kid?"

"He's on that camping trip. He comes in Monday morning? We're meeting him at the diner?"

"Oh that's right, that's right." Emma nodded. She looked at the glasses and still open book on the end table next to her and lifted the cover, "'Good Christian Bitches'? They made a show, you know? You don't have to read it…"

Regina rolled her eyes, "The show didn't last."

"Unfortunately." Emma grinned as she looked up to the other woman.

After Emma didn't say anything and kept looking at her, she began to feel uncomfortable—she began to feel hopeful. That made her squirm, "What?"

"Come here." Emma reached out, silently repeating her request.

The brunette walked around the coffee table and sat next at the other end.

The blonde was unimpressed. "Woman! Come here." She patted the rest of the cushion that she wasn't taking up.

Regina knit her brows and stared at the place Emma indicated, but made no movements.

"I want to try something. Will you come sit next to me, so I can try something?"

"Fine." Regina acted as though they'd done this dance a million times. She was too scared to think of what Emma could possibly be trying.

Emma wrapped her arm around her, pulling her close, and Regina's automatic response was to wrap her arm around Emma's waist and cross her leg over her own and the blonde's.

Emma nodded, taking every little movement in. "To the kitchen." She announced before moving to stand. When Regina didn't follow, she turned back around and stared at the other woman, "Well, come on."

Regina knit her brows, "What are we doing?"

"Will you just work with me here?"

This, of course, made Regina roll her eyes, but did as requested again.

"Pretend your cooking."

"Why?"

Emma gave her a pointed 'duh' look. "You want me to pretend like I cook?"

"No! Lord knows somehow, someway you would set something on fire, even while pretend cooking." The brunette stepped to the counter, "What am I cooking?"

Emma stood flush behind the brunette and placed her hands on her shoulders, running them down her sides before wrapping around her waist, "I don't care." She whispered. She could feel the shiver that ran up Regina's spine, and she couldn't hide the happy smirk on her face.

Regina placed her hands on the counter, "Emma?" she asked after gaining control of her body and mind once more.

Emma simply pulled away, "To the upstairs." She announced. This time, she didn't wait for Regina or make sure she was following her. She knew she was.

When Regina got to her personal bathroom, she saw Emma looking between her shower and her tub. "Which do you want to pretend take first?" She asked the mayor.

"Neither. I want to know what's running through your mind."

"You will. After three more tests. Two of which are in this room. So, shower or bath?"

"Shower." Regina pointed to it because it was closer.

Emma opened the door and turned for the brunette to hop in. She then shut it on her.

"Emma… what are you doing?"

Emma walked back out of the bathroom, shut the door, then poked her head back in—both making sure that Regina stayed in the shower and pretending that she was coming to take a shower of her own. She smirked as she made her way to the stall, but sobered once Regina would be able to see her expression through the translucent glass. She jumped in with the other woman and stared into her brown orbs with all the dirty she could muster. She smiled when she saw Regina blush the most subtle of blushes.

She nodded again and walked out, "Bath time." She got in first and waited for Regina to sit against her front.

Regina swallowed cautiously and turned her head after a moment or twelve, "What is this?"

Emma shook her head and pushed on her back, "One more test." She got out after Regina and walked into the bedroom. She flopped on the bed.

"Miss Swan!" Regina gave the blonde a stern, scolding look for messing up her throw pillows.

"Come here." Emma said, patting the bed next to her.

Regina no longer cared what the blonde was doing. She got on the bed and laid down next to her. Emma rolled on her side and wrapped her arm around Regina's waist. "Are we pretend sleeping?" the brunette finally gave in and asked.

"Yes."

"And…?"

Emma heaved herself up from the bed and moved to the door, "That's all I needed. Congratulations Madam Mayor, you've passed all the tests." She walked out of the bedroom and made her way downstairs to the living room again.

"What does that mean? That I've passed all the tests?" Regina ran after her, "Emma!"

"Regina, it simply means that you've passed the tests." The blonde laughed as she plopped onto the couch once more.

"What tests?!" Regina asked.

"The ones I just gave you."

This prompted the mayor to grab a decorative pillow from the recliner and throw it at the blonde before launching herself at her to make her answer her questions. "Give me a real answer!"

Emma caught the brunette and moved swiftly to pin her down on the couch cushions. She smiled as she looked into brown orbs, "The ball's in my court, right?"

"Right…"

"Well… I want you. I can do a relationship. I proved that with Ruby… you know, before 'The Ew'."

"And you've proved that with no one since…"

"That just means I'll be extra attentive to you, now doesn't it?"

Regina smiled as she took Emma's cheek, "So, I passed your little tests… but can you pass mine?"

"Without even breaking a sweat." Emma said positively.

"Well, darling, you don't know that. Besides, sweat is inevitable with one of the tests…"

"And what test is that?"

"The naked and sweaty night of passion… It's right there in the test's name."

Emma's pupils dilated a bit, "Naked and sweaty? Passion? It's been a long damn time since I've had a naked and sweaty night of passion with anyone."

"I'll grade lightly." The brunette laughed.

"I won't." Emma shot back to the other woman. She leaned down to kiss her, but stopped short, "We're gonna do this? Even though you told me six years ago that that would never happen?"

Regina took Emma's face in her hands as the blonde hovered over her, "I didn't say it would never happen. I said I didn't want to mix love and lust and friendship…"

"And what's happening now?"

"The inevitable." Regina smiled before kissing the blonde hard.

Emma, being Emma, pulled away. "I just want to make positive… You haven't been with my mother? My father?"

Regina made a disgusted face, "No!"

"Anyone that I consider family?"

Regina gave the blonde a serious look.

"I'm sorry, I just don't want to think that you're it then learn some deep dark secret!"

"You've known my deep dark secrets over the last few years… I don't have any left. Except that I still want a happy ending."

"Me too." Emma smiled as she kissed the brunette again.

~0~0~0~0~0~

Emma and Regina walked into the diner that Monday morning. They couldn't keep their hands off of each other. Or their lips. They found Henry sitting at a booth with his duffle.

"Hey kid, how was the trip?" Emma asked as she sat in the booth and waited for Regina to sit next to her. She wrapped an arm around the brunette and pecked her lips when the mayor turned to her.

"It was okay." Henry shrugged.

"Good. Well, we have something to tell you… Big news. And I'm just realizing we've already given it away…" Regina knit her brows.

"What's that?" Henry asked.

"Your mom and I lerve each other, kid." Emma said as she held the brunette tighter.

"Yeah… And?"

Emma stared at her un-phased child, "'Yeah, and?' That's all we get after six years of falling for each other?"

Henry raised his brows, "Try seven and a half."

"Good morning, all!" Ruby smiled wide as she walked over and poured coffee all around, topping off Henry's mug.

"Ruby tell Henry that me and Regina being together is a big deal!" Emma whined.

"I will… If you tell him that me and Belle getting engaged is a big deal!" Ruby fake glared to the 17 year-old.

"You're engaged?" Regina asked.

"That's news?" Emma sunk into the booth and looked to her son, "I get why you could care less about that, but this is me and your mom."

"Yes." Henry nodded.

"Henry please act enthused? For Emma's sake. She's going to get irrationally mad… We don't want that, do we?" Regina asked.

"No." Henry shook his head before looking to his blonde mother, "Wow, 'Ma! That's so exciting that you and mom finally told each other how you felt! Can't wait for you to move in!"

Emma smiled, "Already done."

"Really?" Henry showed his actual surprised.

"Your mommies have this thing called magic. It was super easy."

Ruby interrupted, "So, let me get this straight. No one cares about me and Belle?"

"No, of course we care about you and Belle." Emma rolled her eyes, "We're just not shocked in the least that you proposed to your girlfriend of five some-odd years."

"And I'm supposed to be impressed that you and Regina are living together after seven and a half?"

"Yes."

"No! I refuse."

"I think you should be impressed. I think you should be impressed that I can commit after all the shitty and just plain weird ass things that have happened to me."

"You are _not_ bringing up 'The Ew'!" Ruby gave her friend a look.

"I think I am." Emma nodded. "I am bringing up 'The Ew'."

Ruby rolled her eyes before giving a radiant smile, "You guys have already moved in together like a couple of classic U-hauls? Yay! I'm so happy for you!"

Emma grinned and turned to Regina, "I told you she'd be impressed."

**AN: Hope you enjoyed!**


End file.
